Writing On The Wall
by VintageNicky
Summary: One Shot Song Fic. Harry and Hermione after the war and how Harry copes. A bit OOC but hopefully not too much.


Ooh ok, I quite like this. Little one shot, song fic. It takes place after The War, and Ron is dead, which Harry feels is his fault, 'If he hadnt been my friend...blah, blah, blah.' Soo, Harry started drinking after everything that happened, and Hermione has spent a lot of time trying to make him stop and make him understand that it wasnt his fault. Nothing works, she can barely get her to meet him because he's always drinking. So she goes to a muggle pub where she knows he drinks there a lot and takes part in a karaoke contest.

The pub I describe is called The Punchbowl in Churchtown (sometimes known as Kirkland), Lancashire, UK. I live near it...kinda near anyway, and I just thought the name seemed to fit for some reason :)

Also, I love this song! Saving Jane - Writing On The Wall! Love it!

Enjoy!

VN x

-

10:43am. The earliest for the past few weeks. That was the time Harry stumbled out of the alley that lead him to The Punchbowl. The apparation had been difficult, it seemed, and he stopped to sit down outside for a few minutes, rubbing his weary unshaven face.

He looked rough. Rougher than I had ever seen him since the war. I fought with myself to call out to him, wondering if he would hear me, knowing he wouldnt listen even if he could.

He didnt want to know me anymore, that had been made perfectly clear. But still I waited, and still he came. At first it had been once every few months, a quick drink, a chat and then he'd leave. It became more and more frequent, with less talking and more drinking.

Until one day...when everything seemed to change.

-

_Tuesday morning, 9:30am, I sat and waited for him to arrive. Last week it had been 10:30. The week before that, 10:45. Earlier and earlier as every week passed. I couldnt explain it, but something told me that today would be no different._

_Slipping my book out of my bag, I had barely read the first few pages when I heard various shuffling noises coming from outside. Instinctively I reached for my bag,my wand waiting inside. Nothing happened. Strange. I looked over at Jack, the landlord, who was looking towards the half-open door. At least I wasnt imagining things. I heard the noise again, coming closer this time. Closer and closer towards the door. I inched my hand inside the bag, reaching for my wand, not wanting to reveal it till I really had to. No one in the village knew I was a witch, I wanted it to stay that way for as long as possible._

_The door swung open, a body stumbling through it moments later._

_"Harry?" I squeaked, pushing myself out of my chair towards him. He looked up at me, stumbling slightly as he stood up straight. He smiled briefly, rubbing his eyes before smiling again._

_"H'mione!" He slurred, taking a shaky step forwards and throwing his arms around me. There was no mistaking the alcohol on his breath - and his clothes. I smiled, gritting my teeth and holding my breath for just that moment. "I've misse' you 'Mione!"_

_I pulled myself away and smiled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, more for balance, leading him towards my table."You saw me last week."_

_"I did?" He slipped slightly and pulled me with him. I pulled him up quickly, shooting an uneasy smile towards Jack. He looked at Harry, then back at me as he gestured towards his coffee machine. I nodded quickly before sitting Harry down and taking my own seat next to him._

_"Yes, dont you remember? We had a few drinks, and some lunch, and we talked about..." I stopped, recalling details from the conversation. Probably not best to mention it when he was like this._

_Too late. He opened his mouth as if to speak, closed it, and looked at me with an intensity that made me feel uncomfortable. Jack broke the silence, placing the coffee in front of Harry with a faint 'clink'._

_"Thanks." I muttered, handing over a few muggle coins. Jack didnt move, he stood staring at Harry waiting for him to take the first sip. I smiled and pushed it towards him, willing Jack to move away, waiting for someone to speak._

_"I have to go." Hary finally said, his voice turned cold._

_"I thought we were having lunch?" I asked, knowing somehow that he hadnt eaten in days. Still he didnt look at me. Or respond. "You promised." I whispered. We both knew I wasnt talking about lunch anymore._

_"You need to stay away from me 'Mione." He stood up, knocking his chair back in the process. "Im...I'll only hurt you, like everyone else." He started to walk away but I reached out to him, trying to pull him back to the table._

_"You wont Harry. You wont hurt me, I know you wont." He tried pulling away from me, but I held his arm firmly, standing and following him. "What happened wasnt your fault. You didnt hurt them, it was him Harry, not you." He carried on walking. "You have to remember that. It wasnt you, it was Volde.."_

_Before I could finish Harry spun around and gripped my arms tightly. I struggled, trying to wiggle myself out of his grip as he dug his fingers into my skin._

_"Dont. say. that. name!" He spat, his eyes mere slits as he stared at me. That moments reminded me of so many times during the war when He would go into Harrys mind, taunting him. I felt scared, and tried not to show it but failed miserably._

_I thought back to all the times before the war when he had said that very name, not seeming to care. "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." I repeated the very thing I had said so many times at school, hoping this would calm him. It didnt._

_Throwing me hard against the nearest wall, Harry turned to leave. He stopped at the door and looked back, his face screwed up as though he was in pain. I tried to catch me breath long enough to call out to him, trying to not to concentrate on the pain shooting from my wrist. Jack was by my side, pulling me up so he could sit me on the closest chair._

_When I looked back towards the door, Harry was already gone._

-

That was two years ago now, and every day he had returned. I liked to think he wanted to find me, to apologise and try to get better. But I knew this was just wishful thinking on my part. I had already lost him, there was no way of getting him back.

I watched as he stood shakily, stumbling into the pub with no care for who he may bump into. He would go to the bar and order two beers. They would be gone in ten minutes, maybe less. Another two, another ten minutes, and the routine would continue until he was far too drunk to order anymore, or until he was kicked out. Usually it was the latter.

I sat and waited for the moment he would be pushed out of the door. I looked at my watch. 12:15. It wouldnt be long now.

14:27. Later than usual then.

17:02.

I wondered how he could possibly still be inside, and he definitely hadnt been thrown out yet. Maybe I missed him? He wouldnt have apparated from inside. He would be in a fit state to do so, not if every other day was anything to go by. Thats why I waited, I needed to see him home safely. At least then I knew he was home.

"Hermione?" Came a familiar voice from behind me. I put on a smile and turned to greet my once good friend, Jack. I hadn't seen him since that day two years ago, not wanting to talk about what happened. "Its good to see you, love." He pulled me into a hug which I returned somewhat hesitantly. I looked back over to the pub. Still no sign of Harry.

"So, what brings you back?" Jack said, bringing my out of my thoughts with a jolt. I tried to think of something to say, not wanting to sound stupid if I told him the truth.

"I just thought I'd come over for a few drinks. You know, catch up a bit." I said quickly, still watching out of the corner of my eye. Still no sign of him.

'Maybe it would be best to go in and check on him?'

"Well you picked the right night. Karaoke!" He chuckled slightly, probably thinking back to the last time I joined.

'Hmm...maybe not.'

I was stuck now though. Jack smiles and looped his arm through mine as he had done many times before, and lead me across the road to the small pub.

Already there seemed to be a lot of people there, and looking through the crowd, I couldnt see Harry anywhere.

"You can go first, get everyone going." He winked at me and pushed me towards the small make-shift stage at the far end of the room.

"I'm not really in the mood, later?" I turned towards the bar and started to push my way though people efore he could argue with me. I ordered a drink, and scanned the room again.

There. Right at the back of the room, leaning against a table with a beer clutched in his hand. He was staring down at the glass, a determined look on his face. Without even thinking, I started walking towards him. The closer I got, the more I thought what a bad idea this might be.

"Hello." I said when I reached the table. He looked up, his face pale and his expression blank. I tried to think of something else to say.

"Im sorry." He slurred. "Do I know you?"

I bit back the tears that were threatening to fall and forced a smile. "Um..no. Sorry, I thought you were someone else." I turned away before he could reply, and pushed my way back through the people. I needed air.

Outside, I feel the prickle of tears behind my eyes again. I knew things had gotten bad with Harry, but I never knew it was this bad. Remembering the drink in my hand I drank it quickly, for want of something better to do. It burned as it trickled down my throat but I didnt care. Back inside, I bought myself another one. Karaoke started, and by the time the first two people had sung, I'd had two more drinks. My head was starting to spin. I never usually drank this much.

I looked over at Harry. There were three empty glasses on the table, and one half empty in his hand.

"Our next singer tonight is Hermione Granger!" Jacks voice echoes through the room and I tear my eyes away to look towards the stage. "Come on, we're all waiting." He smiles and a few people nudge me and murmer something with a smile. Im not really listening to what they're saying.

Do I really want to do this? I could just walk out and wait, as always, for Harry to leave. As if on cue, the pitter patter of rain is heard over the low murmers of the crowd. I really dont want to wait outside in the rain. And what harm could a little karaoke do?

I put on a smile and walk towards the stage. I dont know what Im going to sing, but Im sure there will be something good.

Jack helps me look through the few CD's that are collected on a table in front of the stage. There's not a lot to choose from, mostly cheesy old pop songs and songs that should never have been recorded. Then my eyes fall onto one CD in particular. I remember listening to it once last year, and it was pretty good. The songs were relatively easy to remember, but I quickly flicked through the lyric book to reacquaint myself with the songs. There was one that stood out the most. I re-read the lyrics, and looked over at Harry. He was staring at me, a look of confusion across his face.

The song was picked. I gave Jack the CD, told him the track number and stepped up to the microphone.

The song started, a slow beat playing for a few seconds before I started to sing.

_I hope life brings you what you need,  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't keep you.  
Bet you never thought that I would leave you,  
In the cold like this?  
Too broke to fix._

I looked over at Harry, hoping he wasnt too far gone to understand themessage I was trying to get across to him. He looked back at me, the same blank expression as before returning.

_You promised but I don't believe you,  
Anymore.  
Took your picture off the shelf, don't wanna remember.  
I couldn't save you from yourself._

I thought back to when I first knew Harry was having a problem with his drinking. He promised me he would try to stop. He promised me so many times after that, I didnt know if he meant it or not.

_I'm giving up on the way we've always been.  
I can't seem to get your sink to swim.  
You don't see the writing on the wall.  
Can't stand to watch you self-destruct,  
Throw away your magic and your luck.  
There wasn't room for three here after all.  
You and me and alcohol.  
You and me and alcohol._

_What happened to the boy I knew?  
Every now and then you know I miss you,  
Every now and then you know I still wish you were,  
Here with me.  
But honestly,  
You'll never even know the damage that you've done._

_We couldn't reach the other side,  
But at least I know I tried._

I did try to help him. I really did, but nothing seemed to work after a while. He had already given up, I couldnt change his mind after that. But I had to try.

_I'm giving up on the way we've always been.  
I can't seem to get your sink to swim.  
You don't see the writing on the wall.  
Can't stand to watch you self-destruct,  
Throw away your magic and your luck.  
There wasn't room for three here after all.  
You and me and alcohol. _

_So misunderstood.  
Well not everybody gets what's good,  
And maybe that's alright.  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  
I wanted to believe that it just might,  
It just might._

Everything was supposed to get better after the war. We were supposed to go on and be stronger, it was meant to help up make a better life after that. I guess it would never have worked out like that, Harry was always going to blame himself for what happened.

I looked to the back of the room, and noticed he was gone. Scaning the room, I soon found him again. He was stood near the front of the crowd, staring at me intensely again, his eyes clearer than I had seen them in a while.

_Im giving up on the way we've always been.  
Dont you see the writing?  
Dont you see the writing on the wall?_

_I'm giving up on the way we've always been.  
I can't seem to get your sink to swim.  
You don't see the writing on the wall.  
Can't stand to watch you self-destruct,  
Throw away your magic and your luck.  
There wasn't room for three here after all,  
You and me and alcohol._

_You and me and alcohol.  
You and me and alcohol._

The song finished as a slow tear rolled down my cheek.

-

Wow, I didnt think it was gonna be this long!

Bit of a sucky ending I know, but I didnt know how to end it, and my Mum wanted her laptop back so I had to stop. I knew I wouldnt be able to think about this in the morning so I had to finish it now :)

It is now 1 in the morning, and Im really knackered. Ive not really stopped writing for the last couple of hours, there might be a few spelling/grammer mistakes, if there are just let me know.

As always let me know what you think of it :)

Reviews are love!

VNx

And just as a side note... WoopWoop! Doc Manager finally let me change the bits that weren't meant to be in italics and stuff :) Im very happy!


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